Friday, March 31, 2006

Bad Attitude

Sad, bored, restless. And I still have too much to do.
Really frustrated with the weight. Gave it a super push the last 2
weeks, went all out on diet and exercise. Lost 1/2 lb. Ugh.
Talked to the D.J. friend tonight. He said he cut his calories
to 1000, and is working out like a maniac. He, of course, lost 15
lbs. this month. Double Ugh.

I only have to make it until Tuesday, to see what I can do about the
drugs. I'm going off of them, one way or another. Hopefully the
doctor will agree to an adequate substitute. I'd still like to try
something else. I'm not getting any better.

I accidentally deleted all the email today that I was very fond
of and wanted to keep. It made me crabby, and I'm trying to let
it go. I still have my memory (though it is pretty faulty) :(

I have to finish my reading for tomorrow's therapy session where I
get to tell her I am not co-dependent. The book just didn't bear it
out at all. I didn't recognize myself anywhere. When I took a lot of
Psychology in college, they warned you that by the end of the class
you would think you had every mental problem in the book, but it was
a matter of degree that caused you to be abnormal. Sure enough, we
all thought we were obsessive, neurotic, paranoid psychotics by the
end of class. This book wasn't like that. I keep trying to find a
behavior I did have, and failed.

Maybe I just have a bad attitude.

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