Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Patience Sucks!

Work kept me running today, so I didn't have a lot of time to
think. Probably a good thing. When I did stop, I found I am fretting
about unresolved things. I want everything resolved, RIGHT NOW!

I don't want to be patient. Patience is a waste of time, and life
is short. The longer things go on that make you unhappy, the more
time that could have been better, is gone. Who decided patience
was a virtue? I think that is not a well thought out sentiment
at all! Isn't it better to tackle things now, and get them out of
the way? I don't understand why people "aren't ready" or "need
more time". Why? Nothing gets better in that duration - everybody
just feels rotten. Am I the only one like this?

I rushed home for another Skype interview for my show with one
of the three Webmasters for the Marine Corps. Now there is an
odd job... He was lively and very upbeat, and I enjoyed talking
with him. I think I do the show just so I have a cheap excuse to
talk to people all over the world. They all sound like people I
would love to meet and get to know. Life on the Web. It is not
quite an adequate replacement for real life - but lacking one,
it is better than nothing.

I now have 3 interviews recorded and ready to edit. So I think
I'll take the weekend off and do nothing podcast related whatsoever.
I need to have a weekend back to do, er, something weekendish.

I'm scheduled to see a therapist for the first time this Friday.
I just don't know what to think. I don't think it will help -
Dysthymia Depression is the one exception to much success with
talk therapy.

I realized today I was feeling pretty crushed from both times the
drugs stopped working. It's been 6 months now, and 2 drugs. If I get
my hopes up that things will really get better this time, when they
don't I feel --- betrayed??? My overly exuberant levels of hope often
set me up for a bigger fall.

2 comments:

Big Phil said...

Here were the results when I took the quiz:
Anarchism 100%
Green 100%
Democrat 100%
Socialist 100%
Communism 33%
Republican 0%
Nazi 0%
Fascism 0%

Susan Grandys said...

Phil, Very good. I can't figure out how I came out with ANY Fascism, Nazi or Republican :)

I'll just pretend I misunderstood the questions....