Monday, March 06, 2006

Pondering Limits

I've been thinking about limits and limitations a lot today.
I never liked limits and I always push them to see just how far
I can go. It is like a scab you can't leave alone, I keep picking
at the borders of myself and my surroundings to see if anything
gives. I swear that even asleep, I'm probably trying to exceed
those boundaries.

I have boring days like today, where I just work and come home,
and I wonder why. I almost feel like I just wasted a day that I
could have done something good with. One day closer to death, and
what did I learn or achieve? I just felt like I was waiting.
What the hell am I waiting for?

Is it love, is it meaning, is it something I'm supposed to be doing?
If I haven't found them yet, I'm not going to. So why don't I do
something else? Take another path through life, entirely?

Why do we sit at home in our grey, mundane little lives, wrapped
in our dull routines, never taking the big chances, never looking
for more adventure, never changing, never really living at all?
Is our safe little cave all that desirable? Can't we break out,
take the plunge, do something wild and daring, and not safe?
Day after day of the sameness - why does everyone want this?

I don't.

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