Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Split Second Happiness

I think I made it all the way up to neutral today. Which is weird
because I do laugh a lot. I have this strange sense of humor, and
things strike me as funny and I laugh. So am I happy for a just a
split second? Just for a few moments, I'll feel comfortable and
pleased, but then it quickly returns to a neutral baseline. Or worse.
This really is no way to live. I wonder what it is like for other
people. I'm really not sure.

It was equipment day, I spent most of the day dealing with computer
equipment of various kinds. I really, really like new equipment, the
more the better! I wonder why that is? I can't wait to set up new
stuff and see how it works. I'm not particularly good at it, I
just love doing it. I wonder if that is a super-geek gene that I
seem to have. I have always desired more and better tech toys.
I wonder if that is a kind of happiness. Why don't I know?

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