Friday, April 28, 2006

Free Shirt

Rainy, gloomy day. I worked way too late, and just got home. I was
working on Linux, of course, which always turns out to be an
adventure (or comedy of errors?) Can an operating system take a
personal dislike to a person like me? I volunteered to check out
a bunch of Linux systems, just to force myself to get better at it.

Thinking about how memory works. Towards the end of my last job,
I was so stressed out, and was sleeping maybe 4 hours a night. My
memory, which used to be incredibly good, became malleable and
fluid. I couldn't remember shit, and what I did remember may or may
not have been true. It seems to be a side effect of extreme stress.
I found that caused me even more stress. If you always trusted
your brain, and it was fooling you, what did you have to hang on
to as real? Mostly I try not to dwell on it too much. It's creepy.

Very interesting, the mechanisms of stress. What purpose does it
serve to lose your memory? I lost an entire year once, in the
middle of about 5 stressful years. I would refer to things that
happened just last year, and people would point out to me that
stuff was over two years ago. It became clear that I couldn't
remember an entire year. I really don't know what I did during
that year, except work all the time, and it all collapsed together.

Now that I am not stressed much at all, my memory has gotten good
again. My mentor at work only has to tell me things once, and I
have it. Most teachers will say that you have to "tell them 3 times"
to make something stick.

Otherwise, thinking about things. A LOT. Wondering where I am
going or where I want to be going? I wish I had more answers than
questions.

Oh well, I got a free shirt from work. A really nice long sleeved
shirt with the company name, and the name of my customer account
embroidered on it. My partner got it for me because everybody has
ton's of shirts and I've been there 10 months, and hadn't got a
single shirt. Really rather sweet of him :)
Maybe that is the meaning of life.
Free stuff!

1 comment:

Big Phil said...

You should work for my company. I've been here 3 months and already have 4 shirts. Comes in handy when its time to wax the car!