Monday, April 17, 2006

No Fanfare?

I didn't get around to taking my Lexapro today, so I guess I'm finally
off of it. So far, I feel fine. The Wellbutrin is working very well.
So we'll go off in this direction for awhile and see what happens.

Worked a looong day today, I got interested in something, and didn't
get around to coming home until after 7 pm. I'm also trying to learn
some test tools well enough to give a presentation on Monday. Still
having fun at work. I guess this is turning out rather well.

I'm going to my therapy tomorrow, and tell her I'm not going to
continue with it. I'm just getting nothing from it at all. I feel
like I'll have to make up some problems for her soon, just to make
her happy. Oh well, it was an experiment, I didn't really expect it
to do anything. But experimenting is good, sometimes you find
good things. It appears the depressions were chemical, after all.
When I found the right balancing agent, I was fine. I'm pretty much
where I want to be, right now.

How strange. I'd expected trumpets and fanfares when I finally got
to a better place in life. It just kind of eased into it, and then
I was there.

5 comments:

Big Phil said...

I went to my therapy today. I actually think it was pretty productive. He wants to work on my self-esteem issues.
I would agree, this is important but he seems to think this is the root of a lot of my problems.
Not sure I agree, but I will play along.

Anonymous said...

Just a suggestion, Sue. Go back and read the very first entry on this version of your blog. And the one from March 9th. You let someone else's issues make you feel horrible. You don't seem to find yourself worthwhile in and of yourself. IF that's the case, maybe you've got somethings you need to talk about after all.

Susan Grandys said...

The stuff I went through leading up to this blog were rather horrifying
to me or anyone. It was a few weeks before I was convinced that I was not the cause of hurting someone unimaginably badly.

Maybe I am finally truly learning how to feel, and it's tough. I rarely have allowed myself to feel for most of my life. In the last year, I did totally open up, and of course got burnt up pretty bad.

The March 9th entry was a stream of consiousness writing to see what I was feeling. Is it that different from what other people feel sometimes? Is it just that I am letting it show? I don't know - anyways read the next entry.

whoisjobe said...

wellbutrin and zoloft have been my "saviour" or at least the method by which I've emerged from a cold womb of self loathing....

anyhow...

trying to meet fellow bloggers...here's my humble blog if you're interested....

whoisjobe

later.
jobe

Susan Grandys said...

Thanks Jobe for the pointer to your
blog, I've added it to my daily list to read. How long have you been on the
anti-depressants? I'm new to it, only
about 8 months now.