Sunday, June 11, 2006

True Relaxation?

Well, I never hooked up with the guy I was supposed to interview
this weekend, so my show is going to be another week late.
I do have an interview with a listener in Finland next weekend,
though! Maybe that will make up for my extreme tardiness :)

I'm also going to be interviewed by another podcaster for his
show this week. It will be weird to be on the other end of the
microphone, so to speak. Hopefully the gift of gab will not fail me.

Feeling about the same today. I tried to go for a walk but was very
weak and only made it half of my usual walk. Very frustrating! I
just don't feel bad, but the body isn't with me. I did manage to
exercise bike for 10 minutes later in the day - maybe if I break
it up into smaller sessions, my strength will return.

So I gave in an goofed off today too. I realized I really don't take
time to play enough. There is always something that should be
done, and I always feel that pressure. So having two completely
free days, without guilt, was very good for me. I am always so
driven, it is hard to truly sit back and play.

I think my idea of relaxation has been very wrong. I would study
Japanese, or try to catch up on podcast stuff, or get something
for the house that was needed. Those are good goal oriented things
that need to be done, but they don't replace what some people
call "me" time. Time where I really unwind, and am not driving to
get yet another thing done. I wonder where I got that insane
drive from? I wasn't like this growing up, at all - I was very,
very lazy! I don't know how or why I changed!

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