Friday, July 14, 2006

The Watchers

Strange, I've been exercising more through the heat than usual. I'm
really taking this diet, way serious! (Of course the exercise is making
me very hungry... I find I talk about food, a lot!) Otherwise, it is
wise to not move from in front of the fan. And drink lots (of water).
And the heat warnings don't kick in until tomorrow. Heat indexes of
100 degrees aren't dangerous, it seems. It has to get even above
that to be scary. (To who?)

Life has been ok, but a bit strange. I feel a little odd, like I'm just a
spectator watching life go by. I talk and talk and talk to people, and
my mind sort of stands behind me, watching it happen. Maybe it's
that I'm just making small talk, and don't feel engaged in what is
going on.

While I talk, my mind is evaluating and calculating the other person,
how they are, how they are reacting, how they are really feeling, why
are they saying what they are saying?

Is it that my mind doesn't have enough to do? Just something weird
I've noticed lately. So my mind is behind me, watching me, watch
someone else - but since I noticed it, am I now behind all that
watching my mind watching? What if I notice me, watching my mind,
watching me, watching someone else? Then what?

Do I eventually hit infinity? Is it like approaching the speed of light
when your mass expands to fill everything? That doesn't sound like
a good way to diet!

Or maybe it is just the hunger and the heat.....

No comments: