Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Blowout Curiosity

I couldn't sleep last night, so tired and unprepared for the day -
I think my brain had a blowout. I tried to do too many new things at
work today, failing bigtime at everything while trying to work with
developers on a really tricky problem while my two new 14 disk units
broke simultaneously and I haven't a clue how to fix them. I installed
a new product I have to learn, and couldn't even get logged in. I tried
some insanely difficult redirects of Linux and AIX on from non-
graphic carded blades, and just kept hitting the wall of "things I don't
know". The developers were sending dozens of emails on the problem
we were working on - "try this, try that", arugh!

I was so beat and frustrated, that I finally went home, late as usual.
After a meal, working out, and a beer - I had calmed down enough to
deal with the last developers requests, and logged back into work,
and put in another hour. I just can't leave a problem alone, I have to
keep at it, until a resolution is found. I suppose this stupid relentless
curiosity of mine makes me a spectacular worker, but it is hard on
me, and causes me to work way the heck too much.

I know how cats must feel. That curiosity has gotten me in plenty of
places and situations I just shouldn't have been in, but after a
lifetime living with that "need to know", and "what happens if you
push here?", I just keep wading right in. Some people (and cats)
never learn to let things be.

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