Thursday, August 31, 2006


I survived my 2nd 1200 calorie day. Food becomes really amazing
when you can't have any. I save my last 200 calories for a glass of
red wine, and a square of very dark chocolate. It becomes a sensual
feast that I look forward too. Life can get very simple.

Except all the times I'm hungry, then it is complex in the ways to
keep yourself going and fool yourself. I've found that whey powder
(banana flavored!), and flavored fiber chews help. Also a can of V8
(30 whole calories!) at about 5 pm. keeps me going until dinner.

Great now I'm just going to talk and dream about food..... Sorry!

I need something short term to look forward to. The next few months
look like they will be battles with balancing the drugs, endless
doctor appointments, starving, exercise, paying off some big
expenses, a scary birthday, winter, and some minor surgery around
Christmas. Bleah! There needs to be some kind of fun, wild romance,
exotic travel, fame, large piles of money - something else good in there!

But it will probably be just lots of going to work.... I am such a
dreamer, I can imagine so much more. What good is an imagination
if you can't ever have? The human race is really doing something
wrong. Did we choose this life? Is this the way it is supposed to be?

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