Friday, September 22, 2006

Chemicals R Us

Tough day. I swear I can now feel when my seratonin levels are low,
just like I can with my blood glucose levels. I have been reduced to
chemical soup. On the one hand it is comforting to know when I am
down for no reason, that my brain chemicals may be a little off. On
the other hand it makes me crabby that I may be only chemicals,
not spirit or soul. There is no elegance in that.

I had long nightmares last night about a misplaced friend, and then
woke up to another gloomy, rainy day. I felt fairly low when I got to
work. I had to battle to shake off the mood, but finally got involved
in my job and had warm conversations with people at work - by the
end of the day I felt a lot better.

So if I can combat the chemical level effects though an effort of mind
and will, does that mean there is something outside of the chemical
body that exerts that will? Why would chemicals decide to combat
chemicals? Interesting dilemma.....

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