Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Goodbye to love

I just heard two friends of mine are separating from their marriage.
Jeeze. They seemed absolutely perfect together, and when I
interviewed the guy for my show a year ago, he went on and on about
how happy she made him and how that was all he wanted. They had
been married about 7 years at that point. I was so impressed that
they were still so in love. And now? What happened? It just ruins my
faith that anyone will ever find long lasting love. If people like that
can't make it, I don't know who can.

Actually of all of the people I hang around with nowadays, all the
couples but one have now broken up. And that was just in the last
3 years!

I guess none of us understands this love thing. What is everyone
looking for? Continuous passion and excitement? Do they really think
they are going to get it? What ever happened to just wanting a
"companion to grow old with"? I think that is how it was supposed to
work. Seriously. I think that is about all you can reasonably expect.
It seems like every 2 years, or so, the hyper passion of a relationship
dies, and everyone goes off looking for it again.

I wish passion did last like that. But it doesn't. I don't think it can.
I'm not even sure it was ever ment to.

Eventually our laziness, carelessness, real personalities with all its
selfishness, inattention, boredom, comfort seeking, and well,
humanness - re-exerts itself.

And the couples stare aghast at their object of perfect desire, and
wonder "What was I thinking?"!!!

1 comment:

Manly Geek said...

Wow,
Gets you right there doesn't it. I'm on my third marriage but this one is SO very much different than the others that I'm quite sure it will last until one or both of us dies. I just saw on TV a couple in MD that celebrated their 80th Wedding Anniversary this week. That's right, they're 98 years old and have been married since 1926. So it is possible to have a long term relationship that lasts a life time.

I think there are several reasons this is so unique. First, I think our generation has been so focused on me that they ask the question "What have you done for ME lately?" That's completely the wrong question and will always lead to disaster. The more important questions have a long term focus. Such as, "How much have I invested in this relationship lately?" and "Do I remember how beautiful/handsome my partner looked when...? We shouldn't nurse bad memories and forget good ones. Rather we need to treasure up the good memories and send the bad ones on a one way boat ride down the river.