Monday, October 16, 2006

Not

I went out to my car to return a hat to a co-worker at 6:15pm
tonight. I was startled at how "not" out it was, and just stood
there and soaked it in, for awhile. It was not light or dark - sort
of early twilight. It was not raining, but sort of misty. It was not
cold or warm, just sort of limbo temperature. It was the perfect
balance of not anything. Weird moments.

Had the hot tub repaired today. The motor had burned out after
6 enjoyable years. Unfortunately it cost over $500 to get a new
motor and the repairs done. Ouch. Money is really tight right
now, as I'm trying to pay off the hot water heater, the car, and
various old debts, and the winter heating bills will start soon.
Much soul searching and questioning over the way I live
and what I spend money on. I like my life and don't really have
frivolous expenses that I can cut. And I don't want to give up
on going to Japan. I have to find a way to do this!

1 comment:

Big Phil said...

I'm tired of being a responsible adult.
Carpe diem!