Thursday, October 12, 2006

To Dream or Die?

I couldn't sleep last night and then noticed I was dizzy when I moved
my head. When the alarm went off, I went into the shower and
noticed I was unsteady. When I got out, I had vertigo so bad I fell
onto the counter. I crawled back into bed and tried to figure it out.
I had vertigo so bad, I couldn't imagine sitting up again. I felt a little
nauseous, but who wouldn't from that feeling? I felt a lot of pressure
in my forehead and behind the eyes. That was it. No other symptoms.

I figured driving was right out, so I managed to call work and leave a
message. Cayenne was worried it was a stroke or heart attack, so I
had him look it up on the web. As I was lying there, unable to get up,
I thought how of my post last night. Would I die before I managed to
find a dream to follow? Was this all there is? Some kind of cruel
justice for one who has looked so hard to make sense of this world.
I guess we are not allowed to know.

But no other symptoms came so I just lay very still until afternoon,
when I managed to finally sit up and eat something. I still don't feel
totally great. I can only assume it was some kind of drug reaction to
the new soup of medications, even though I've been on the newest
ones for a couple of weeks? I don't know. I hate it when your body
starts doing weird shit. If it goes, what will I chase my dreams in?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Sue - Yes drugs can have weird reactions after you have been on them for a couple of weeks. I had an experience where I became seriously dizzy. I had to get someone to drive me home - no way could I do it. I had been on the meds for 2 weeks and was supposed to up the dose about then. The dose went down for ahwile. Fortunately the reaction only lasted a couple days and has not returned.

Drugs are just weird things.

The "other Sue"?

Big Phil said...

I understand what you're saying, we want to have control over our bodies.