Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Whew! Work has been a challenge. I'm glad to be home....
As I was driving today, I realized something odd.
I have arrived.

In my old blog, I think I explained that I had been pretty shut down
emotionally most of my life. It made me very stable (and boring),
but I never allowed myself to feel anything. When 2 close friends
died in their early 40's, it triggered something in me.

I decided to stop being afraid of my emotions and learn how to be
a complete person. I ripped open the doors and faced them,
determined never to back down, no matter how rough it got.
(It did get pretty rough....)

But after 5 years of allowing every emotion, and living them as
they came, I experienced a lot - love, joy, anger, frustration, and
a lot of depression. And I came out the other side. I'm pretty
stable again, and no longer a mess a raging emotions.

I learned to accept them as they arrive, acknowledge them, deal
with them appropriately, and move on. Sure, I'm not perfect at
it, but I feel like I've reached a new level.

I wonder what's left to conquer? One by one, I've been picking
off my fears in life, beating them, and going on to the next one.
Hopefully only a few more left... And then what do you do?
Die or something? or maybe just go to Japan :)


Anonymous said...

Do you ever feel as though your brain will short circuit?

Susan Grandys said...

Not really. Why?