Sunday, April 15, 2007

On the verge of ?

I hate the days where you just start to recover from being sick
for a long time. I wanted so much to stay on the couch and snooze,
but I also felt like I had to do something to start getting my
strength back. The cold symptoms are almost gone, but the
exhaustion is not.

I arm wrestled myself into doing 1 set of weights with 8 lb weights,
and some stretching and crunches. I do feel better for doing it,
though it demonstrates how weak I got from the illness.

With Japan, and the sick time, I haven't done a show in a month.
And like the exercise, it would be so easy not to do it. Finding
someone to interview and doing it, makes me so tired. It would be
so easy to let it go, let the show go, and do nothing. (And
regret it sometime later).

I hate that feeling that exhaustion brings. It would be so easy to
let it all go. To stop fighting, to stop trying, and just doze life
away. Luckily when I start feeling that way, something inside me
rebels, and I begin fighting my way back to life.

I hope the fight always comes to me, it would be too easy to just
give up. It is a scary thought.

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