Sunday, March 30, 2008

Weekend Reset

Ah, the weekends, I'm really learning to use them.
I used to often work through them, and now they are my refuge
of sanity. I love the weekends.

This one, I used to get my head back together, after the
layoffs at work. I played games, I wandered around in the
spring-like, sunny weather, I bought a few things, I exercised
a lot. I read up on what I would be facing if I had surgery
on my foot. I sent for another air cleaner for my house. (The
April asthma is kicking into high gear - whatever is under the
snow when it melts off seems to be the culprit.) I thought a
lot about what I want out of my health in the near future.

All-in-all it was a weekend to relax, reset, and think about the
future. And now I'm ready to go back to work - and it is supposed
to snow 8 inches tomorrow?!!!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I'm that far gone?

How to come back from the dead? Or at least infirmity?
I haven't been walking much at all because of the plantar
fasciitis and complications of the previous foot surgery
(that didn't show up for 3 years!). I went in and had
one cortisone shot into the heel, but it wore off after 3 weeks.
I'm think of going back in, but have been putting it off.

The result of this, is I went shopping today, and the lack of
walking is really beginning to tell. I was only out for an hour
and it was really difficult getting around. I can ignore the pain
in my foot, but the lack of weight bearing exercise made just
walking quite a chore.

I've been lifting weights and biking, but it doesn't help in
the walking department. I suppose I have to go back to the doctor
and get the toes operated on, and get the shots, or I'll never
get on the road to recovery and walking more. It will put me
out of action for awhile, but this is getting annoying.
I hate decisions like this - I'd rather ignore it and hope it
goes away....

Thursday, March 27, 2008

May you live in *interesting* times.....

Hmmm. Tough times. Another RIF at work. This economy sucks!
I survived, but it always a bit of a downer. And somehow always
more work for those who are left.

But the sun is shining, the snow is nearly all melted from
the last storm, and it is supposed to be highs in the 40's for
the next week. My new refrigerator should be delivered by
the time I get home, so I'll get to stack my food in it, and
see how it fits. Wheeee!

So live for the now, and see where it goes.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Minnesotan idea of Spring


Spring, My A**

Yesterday was the first day of spring. It snowed. Quite a bit.
I could almost see the entire yard, before it started, and now
it is all white again. It feels like a setback to spring. I
was really getting in the swing of warmer weather. Bleah.

My tax refund came yesterday, so today it was off for the wild
refrigerator hunt. My old one wont stay closed anymore and the
shelves are all broken - so I wanted a really nice, new one.
Refrigerators cost more than twice as much as the last one
I bought, and it is only about 12 years old!

I had one picked out to go buy (french doors, bottom freezer)
and did some research on the web. It got really horrible ratings,
it fell apart and stopped working after a year for a lot of people.
This was a $1500 refrigerator!!!

So, I visited 2 stores, came back and did a lot more research, and
found that a lot of people liked the Amana, so it was off to Sears,
who were having a 10% off appliance sale. We finally landed one, and
it will be here on Thursday! It is hard to get really excited about
a refrigerator, but it will make life a little easier for the 3 of
us. I guess that is something.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

And back in (almost) one piece

Ho-ho! I survived the colonoscopy. It wasn't as bad as I thought
it would be, and I got to watch on the T.V. screen. The inside of
your colon looks like a weird organic tunnel from a video game,
or something.

They did find and cut out 3 polyps - they were pretty small.
I'll have to wait on the biopsies to see if they are a problem.

I couldn't wait to eat when it was done, so stopped at Boston
Market on the way home. MMMMMMMMM food. My tummy is very happy.

Waiting for the elusive burger...

I was right, I'm not enjoying this week much :)
I am soooooooo hungry! Only about 10 more hours before the
procedure is done, and I can eat something. It was a little
easier than I thought, not eating yesterday. Just when I was
getting a bit crazy hungry, I had to start drinking the prep
solution (took me 3 hours to get it all down) and then I
didn't care about food anymore.

Life gets really simple when you screw up the basics (food,
sleep, shelter, comfort). You become entirely focused on
getting the thing you need, or just making it to the cessation
of pain.

The weather is threatening us with another snowstorm tonight
and tomorrow. And I just see the yard again! Somehow the
measure of spring for me is when all the snow melts off the
yard and I can see the grass. Maybe it is just because I can
see another color, other than white. The snow will make the
commute Friday morning far too interesting.

I am totally chaffing under this snow-melt-snow-melt pattern.
Will Spring just get here already! I'm feeling much better and
more cheerful with the warmer sunny days we've been getting.
Bah! Waiting for food, waiting for spring, waiting, waiting.
Gimmie it all, right now!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

In the thick of it

Lots of crazy work stuff, and crazy diet.
I've been on the basic no-fiber, protein diet for 2 days,
(colonoscopy prep).

I am losing weight from it (yay!) and found that if
you lift weights hard with no carbs or fiber in your system -
you get really, really shaky...

Now it gets hard - nearly 2 days on clear liquids only.
I never fast, because I have a pathological fear of being hungry.
I will NOT enjoy the next 2 days!

It also makes controlling the blood sugar really messed up. I
asked the nurse giving me the instructions for the procedure
what a diabetic should do, and she really didn't seem to know
or care. She just kept repeating, "drink clear juice, sugared
pop, and popsicles (no red or purple ones)". Great, I never touch
any of that stuff, because it makes my glucose levels skyrocket.
I asked my doctor what to do, and she said to ask the check-in
nurse. I give up. I'll figure it out myself.

I'll probably go the chicken broth and Jello route. That was
also permitted. And maybe a little juice.

I'll find out if not eating, and doing lots of difficult brain
work is an interesting combination. I plan to be crabby!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Cautiously Optomistic

Isn't it Easter, or St. Patricks day or something today?
I haven't been paying a lot of attention to anything outside
of work or the house.

So it is 38 degrees and sunny. Not bad, but not glorious.
I worked out 2 days in a row, and I'm not sick. Better.
But at the grocery store today, I noticed that I can feel the
extra weight I've put on this winter, and my muscles are
non-existent. Just walking around made me feel slow and tired.

But it is a good motivator, I guess. I'm now steeled to start
working out regularly, and dropping this stupid weight. I feel
like my whole body is thawing out from the cold, dark winter.
(We'll see how long that motivation lasts....) but this special
diet for the colonoscopy may be just the jump start I need.

I checked the numbers on my last show, and they are way down,
about 500 people in the last 2 weeks heard the show.
I've had audiences as high as 2000 or more on a single show.

This doesn't motivate me to keep going, but on the other hand,my
overall numbers are still in the 2000-4000 downloads a month.
Lots of people seem to be jumping on and listening to the back
catalog of episodes. So I am still waffling on going on, or not.
I suspect I will just coast to a stop someday, without any
conscious decision being made.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Work, Taxes, Video Games, and my Colon :)

I woke up from a dead sleep, (after staying up too late playing
video games) worried about a problem I've been unable to solve at
work. I hate it when work impinges on my weekend. It would be nice
not to have to worry about work at all. Maybe someday I wont care.

I got up to look up information on the work issue, but my internet
provider was down. This just made me fret more. Urgh. Now I'm back
online, but I'm typing this, instead of doing the work..... perhaps
a little passive resistance.

Survived a visit to the tax man, I'm actually getting money back!
I'm thinking about repairing the sheetrock in the basement and
finally getting that new refrigerator. The one I have has doors
that don't seal, and pop open all of the time. That way I can use
the government economic stimulus rebate in May to buy that PS3
(PlayStation 3) machine. It tickles me that I could say George
Bush bought me a video game console. Seems appropriate, somehow.

I'm also preparing for the dreaded Colonoscopy next week. What a
pain the preparation is - low fiber diet, then a clear liquid
diet, and drinking a gallon of this white stuff. I don't mind
going in for medical procedures, I'm kind of used to them, after
so many. But I'm annoyed by ones that make you work so hard to
get ready for them.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Sakura Dreaming

Things proceed. Life is a bit rut-like, these days. Work hard,
play Lost Odyssey, work out a little bit, long for spring.
Not like spring will fix anything, but there will at least be more
"outdoor" stuff to do.

It is only a couple of weeks from the Sakura season in Japan, and
we've been dreaming a lot of seeing that again (we were there nearly
a year ago, now). Seems like yesterday, or a hundred years ago.
Can you be homesick for a place you visited once? I wouldn't want
to live there, (too crowded and confusing!) but I want to be in the
park, under the cherry trees, drinking with my friends, and eating
the yummy festival food again!

Anything is possible, but to what lengths in money and fixing my
health am I willing to go? If I lost all of the extra weight, my foot
might hold up. If I saved more, I might be able to afford it. If
I studied every day, I might be able to read Japanese, which would
make the trip easier. What am I willing to give up? Is the week or
two there worth that? The ongoing dilemma....

I'll think about it tomorrow. Today, it is off to eat dim sum at a
new place, with a bunch a friends. (Like that will fix my diet!)

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Its Not Over Yet?

Bah. -5 degrees tonight and tomorrow. I thought we'd be safe by
March. My whole household just whines about the winter now.
We are so thoroughly sick of it - it just makes me tired.

Otherwise life proceeds. I'm over my cold and hope that is the
last of that, along with the winter. I have started trying to
build up my strength again for the millionth time, but I feel
o.k. for the first time in awhile.

Work is alright too. I got a promotion this week! I am very pleased.
I worked hard, and I think I deserve it. Just so I don't think I
have to work even harder... Strangely the recognition makes me
feel calmer and more mature, somehow. Ha! To feel maturity at my
age. I refuse to "grow up"! Time to go play some more "Lost Odyssey"
video game, then...

Sunday, March 02, 2008

There, it's done!

I finally worked on the next show and just posted it! Yay!
Get it at www.uncomfortable-questions.com:
The Christy Interview.

I've even already done the interview for next month, and I have
a line on the following month. I keep thinking I'm too tired to
keep doing the show, but it keeps going - in spite of what I think.
So in my usual "too lazy to make a decision" attitude, I'll just
continue going "that-away" and see what happens.

I felt well enough to go out to the birthday party of a friend,
last night. It was good to be out of bed, and doing something
other than work. I had a lot of fun, sang a lot of songs, and
drank a bit too much homemade beer and mead. Not the worst of
fates.